On our second (most recent) date, we were back at my place, very drunk, things were getting hot and heavy but she didn't want to go any further (smiling and telling me it would all happen in good time) which I was fine with.
She drunkenly asked about when things would be official, and I didn't really have an answer, she didn't push for one, we had some more drinks and couldn't keep our hands off each other.
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OP, have you really considered what commitment means to you, and what it means to others? How do you know you won't miss out on the love of your life if you just assume what he means?
You'll find out quick enough what his motivations are... Looks to me that he is a control freak, as he's telling you how to act and show emotion. If a guy is honest about not wanting commitment, thats fine, because then he's not playing games. He could have said Hey your nice but not my type, and NOT given me mixed signals or kissed me. Why make some one think you are into them at all if your not! He said he is not looking for a serious relationship ( possible meaning: lets take time to see if you really click beyond the physical attraction) and wants to date with no commitment.
If a guy says he doesn't want commitment and then starts to talk about you wanting his 'stuff', then that's crossing the line. Once you get him to clarify what he means you can decide if you are ok with it or not. But I did find out what he really wanted in the process of being his so called friend. ( possible meaning: You're both out there looking, both new to each other so lets not tie ourselves down, don't take offense if another woman calls we are dating not in an exclusive relationship) Ok am I wrong or does this mean he just wants sex?
If he's being honest with you about his intentions at least give him credit for that but it sounds like it's not the type of relationship you're looking for. He really doesnt talk to me since the last time we met and that was in Aug. But when I flirted back he said I need to chill on the exuberance..... ( He probably dated someone for a short while and she turned out to be a neurotic, possessive maniac, so he's comfortable flirting with you because he knows what he wants whatever that maybe, but he is weary of your flirts because he's probably worried you might turn out to be that neurotic, possessive maniac,) So my advice? I'm free for lunch on Sunday (just kidding )You should read The Ladder Theory. I ve seen alot women on here that play that game but worse...a world full of double standards.If I am spending a lot of time around a man and we are ‘playing couple’ without a commitment, I’ve decided that after six months, playtime is over.This is usually because one of us wants more than what the other is willing to give.The way you write, it seems to mean: "I want more than casual sex."The way people often use it, it seems to mean: "I want you to promise me forever, and everything that goes with it."Maybe if you asked what the guy means by "dating without commitment", you might find out he wants the same thing as you, which I would hope is to date, then if it works, to go on to exclusive sex, then if it works, to go on to a Long Term Relationship. Dating is dating (ie: going out and having fun and getting to know someone) it doesn't automatically include sex. if he wants a sexual realtionship, well, he will have to take it to the next level, where YOU are comfortable.Now if you just want to have sex with someone you are casually dating, that's cool, but if you need more to be intimate..well, that's your right also. He says he doesn't want a commitment, then goes on to flirt with you, and tells you when your flirting back as being too exuberant? I know he was seeing where he could get but PLEASE!!!